I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
