you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize