Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
