just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
