I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
