Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
