Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
