dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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