Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
