Having a random hookup so left but love u
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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