My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize