420 ftw
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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