I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
