don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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