I want to have your abortion
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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