tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
