I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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