she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
