He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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