actually, I'm a sock model
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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