We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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