Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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