who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize