I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
