I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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