Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
