I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
