i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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