The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize