ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
