he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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