Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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