I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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