If that was your dad, he is hot
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
