Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
