Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
