that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
