Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
