Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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