Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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