You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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