She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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