I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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