OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
