if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
