I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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