Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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