Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
