After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
