I need help removing her.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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