i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
