I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
