I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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