dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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