you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
