That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
